So, the Tiger has returned…?
I’d felt something was afoot when the latest round of turmoil disrupted at work and didn’t settle as amicably and quickly as it usually does. In fact, far from settling, it fermented and spilled over into other areas of life. Concerned I’d lose the social network I’d worked so hard to build, I searched for the source of the trouble but couldn’t pin point it.
Then, I learned that the Year of the Tiger is dawning.
The Tiger and I are acquainted, having met some dozen years ago in much the same manner. Then, as now, I’d sensed discord around me and seen signs in the ending of friendships and the conflict in my own marriage. But, it was when even strangers seemed to be unaccountably aggressive that I finally consulted my sister for advice.
‘I don’t know what to do!’ I told her, though I’d certainly done my best to mend relations and restore good will. The truth of the matter was that I was feeling quite bruised from it all and feared I’d unwittingly been the cause of it all.
‘Yah, it’s you,’ she said, but then immediately recanted and chided me for over-sensitivity. ‘It’s the Year of the Tiger,’ she said, as though that explained everything.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I demanded, although I guessed she was referring to Chinese astrology of which I was only vaguely aware.
I knew, for example, that it’s a 12-year cyclical affair, with each year ruled by an animal, and each cardinal animal’s nature or traits supposedly affecting the people born under its sign, as well as people and events that happened in it generally.
‘Think of a tiger in the wild…’ she prompted. ‘What’s a tiger all about?’
Knowing she wouldn’t help me further until I answered, I forced back my frustration and thought aloud. ‘They’re predators… top of the food chain… claws and teeth…’
‘Solitary… opportunistic… and short tempered…’ she interrupted, ‘like a lot of people lately… right?’
I started to see where she was leading.
‘And what are you?’ she asked, and then answered herself. ‘You’re a Horse, a ‘prey’ animal. So, what do tigers do to horses?’
‘Eat them?’ Suddenly, a lot of apparently random incidents connected and took on new meaning. ‘What can I do?’ I asked, and wondered how I’d cope with an entire year of such animosity and stress.
‘Be the Tiger,’ she shrugged.
Of course, I argued that I was a Horse, not a Tiger, and complained that I didn’t deal well with confrontation and conflict. ‘There’s nothing to fear but fear itself,’ she laughed, and insisted I’d learn if I only tried.
‘Trying’ and ‘doing’ are two different things, though, and true to my nature I made many false starts before I ever truly faced my fears. More often than not, when faced with conflict, risk, or danger, I’d allow them to rule me and run before I’d learned a thing. The truth of the matter is, though, that even a horse can only run so far before it risks losing the things it knows or loves.
Backed into a corner, I eventually lashed out and to my utter amazement found the experience exhilarating. Never having felt free to express anger in the past, I’d feared that if I did I’d lose something. Instead, I gained a little ground, and with it some much needed self-confidence and the courage to do more.
That year, I also learned that there are times when no matter what you do others will find fault, test boundaries, and generally cause havoc, but that you always have the choice as to how you will allow this to affect your own life. There’s much to be said for picking your battles and not taking things too personally.
I’d barely unsheathed my claws, however, before the Tiger waned and took with it the opportunity to explore it’s lessons. Rather than feeling the relief I’d thought I would, I was surprised to realize I was disappointed by having to tamp down my newfound assertiveness.
‘But I was just starting to have fun!’ I complained to my sister, the only person I thought would understand because, as a Monkey, she’d spent the year tugging tails and throwing poo at the face of danger.
‘Wasn’t it fun though?’ she chattered. ‘New year. Keep up!’
Newly aware of the import of this strange and yet seemingly useful system for dealing with life, I forged ahead, determined to learn from each successive year, but worried that I’d lose the lessons of the Tiger that’d proven valuable to me. As time passed, however, I began to see that they could be retained and refined into a ‘skill set’ that could be called upon when the need arose.
Hare… Ox… Rat… each offered it’s own lessons and experiences, but none seemed as difficult to learn and retain nor as valuable to me as those of the Tiger.
So, it’s with a mix of trepidation and excitement, then, that I greet the Tiger’s return. Yes, it can bring great losses and gains materially and spiritually, with all the risks and opportunities they imply for the world. And, yes, it can cause upheaval and conflict. But, it’ll also be an opportunity for me to unleash the Tiger that’s been hiding in me for so long, and to see what new lessons and experiences it’ll teach me.
Here… kitty kitty kitty…!
