thank you!
By witchypoo ~ December 6th, 2009. Filed under: day2day, nuts.
Okay, so I’m crying again! But I can’t help it!
See, I just went out to Gigi and Paul’s place to pick up my house key and while I was visiting her son Pauley offered to come and help me move my furniture this week. Then, when Gigi and I were talking about Xmas and I mentioned that I saw a vacuum I wanted to buy my boy Chris, she said ‘come with me’ and the next thing I knew she was giving me a practically new vaccuum!
So… yah… I’m crying because on the one hand life sucks. My taxes are going up and I’ve got 3 mortgage payments due in December and my house still needs work and the car’s a POS… but on the other hand I’ve got the best friends anybody could ask for and pretty soon I’ll have a roommate and we’ll celebrate baby’s first Xmas… and it’s all really emotional for me.
You know, ever since I was little the Christmas has sucked for me. It was always wrapped up with guilt and obligation and stress. But, over the past few years I’ve started sharing my life with people who’re teaching me that Xmas is a good thing – that it’s about friends and sharing and fun – and even though I’ll never wake up and find out that my father’s back or that Santa’s been… Well… little miracles still happen.
That’s why I’m crying now… because I’ve just gotten a little Xmas miracle and it makes my heart so full of gratitude that I just can’t keep it all in. The Universe might work in strange ways – I might have to suck it up and accept that the baby doesn’t live here any more and such – but we’ll figure it out. I’ve just got to remember to leave myself open to life’s little miracles and to be greatful for the things that matter like my friends <|: )